i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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