Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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