That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
