I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He? As in you personified your dick?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
