My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Girls should come with a carfax report
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
