people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize