we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
