just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
