Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
