I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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