Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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