i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
