We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
