also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
