If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you will always have a special place in my vag
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
