Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
