The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize