but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
