Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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