I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
