I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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