great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
