you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
