I think I just saw someone hide a body.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize