Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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