Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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