You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
