Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
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Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
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And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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