using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
