Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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