Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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