trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
