I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
