And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
