What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm passing your future prison.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
