well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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