Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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