Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
this is an emotional support booty call
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
