U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
