A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
NoShamevember. You game?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
