Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
