Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I can text with my tongue
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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