she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
