i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
