Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
