the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
