Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
