dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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