wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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