I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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