So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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