it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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