Screwed.edu
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
