You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Randomize
