Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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