Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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