you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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