he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
