Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize