I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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