I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
