My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
