Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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