I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize