Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
