I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
NoShamevember. You game?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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